Hello guys!
It's been a long time again since my last post and it happened a lot! :)
Around one week ago David's DTS in another part of Chiang Mai has started and he already had a cool experience with God! Sometimes a felt a little bit lonely, because a really close friend had gone away for six month now, but I have huge expectations for God shaping and healing each one of us during this time so much! And in this post I want to tell you about the things God already has been doing in my life:
Every Thursday morning we have a team meeting at Wongen where we discuss what had happened in each of the ministries of the Lighthouse Ministries. Normally I enjoy to listen to the other missionaries stories and testimonies so much, but on this day, I was just struggling with the question, if God really loved me. Before the meeting I had already asked him, to show me his love on this day, but often I am afraid that he just won't give an answer. When we finished updating and stared praying, quite tears where rolling down my face all the time and again I was aware of the wall around my heart that God didn't crumble completely yet.
I don't no if anybody saw me crying, because I had my eyes closed, but suddenly one of the girls of the World Race Team that lives here until the end of the month started describing a picture of me in her head, that showed a light that was entering my feet and filling my whole body, muscles and bones until it reached my face and made it shining like the sun (it's hard for me to describe it in the same words she used).
She said, that I would bring the kingdom of God wherever I would go and that I had to bring no other human with me, because God could work through me alone.
When she started talking about her vision, my heart felt like something warm laid on it and after she finished it just felt light and I experienced probably for the first time in my life, how Gods peace could feel like :)
First I was just so happy about that I was really important enough for God to give somebody a vision for me in a prayer time, that we normally spent by praying for the ministries. But later I remembered, that in I had so many role models in DTS and that - when God did a miracle in a group that I was involved in - he wouldn't have done it only through me, because of my little faith. God is so good and loving :)
Another great thing just happened yesterday:
Since my mother asked me to fast for my brother this week, I wondered a lot, if should really do it because for me there's always the danger that I could do it for the wrong purpose - loosing weight.
So on Monday I decided that I would fast until God would give me the answer of if I should fast and how I should do it. But there was another deep question on my heart this morning, like always. I wandered, what I would have to do to please God. I decided for myself, that I wouldn't run to another christian to get the answer as fast as possible and so I had to wait until one of the World Race Team girls offered me a cookie and had I tell her I couldn't eat it because I was fasting.
When she asked me "really?" I just said "I don't really know" and so I told her about my thoughts. Her reaction was surprising, when she asked me, if I knew about the David Fasting, which contains eating vegetables and fruits. That was God's answer for me, because before I talked to her I already wondered if it would be the best for me, if I could still eat vegetables and fruits. After that the next question popped out of me really quickly "how can I please God?"
She smiled and told me, that this was one of the best things I could asked and that I would get one of the best answers - I could please God in just being his daughter Jascha and that I could do nothing, that would make him loving me more.
So I ended up asking her questions that were burning on my heart for one hour, which I actually wanted to spent praying for my sick brother.
I asked, if God would be as pleased with a non-christian like he is with a christian, if a christian could ever go to hell, if he wouldn't be passionate or obedient enough and what God means by saying that he would spit us out of his mouth if we would be lukewarm.
I also told her, that I sometimes was disappointed by the way Jesus talked to some people and his disciples and that I wouldn't feel loves if somebody would talk to me like this. I wondered if Jesus would talk with everybody the same way and she told me, that he always calls her Baby girl :)
We talked so much that it would be a tonne that I still would have to write, but every answer and every verse she gave me where full of the all powerful love of God and that he would never let somebody steel us out of his hand!
The last thing she asked me was about what my deepest question towards God was and I told her, that I wonder about how much he loves me. I'm not satisfied until he loves me like crazy, so she read psalm 139 to me and told me, that she thinks, that God is even like obsessed with us! :)
That's all, I'm really happy that I finally made it to writing these experiences down and I hope that they will fill you with joy!
God bless you!
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