Hello guys!
Another week went by and I'm ALMOST on time with my weekly post! ^^
I experienced God in a lot of different ways that week, but mainly he answered a lot of questions that I asked him during the first month of my ministry.
Let me tell you about what my God did:
During the first month of my ministry I was busy very often and I spent a lot of time with learning Thai, helping in the cafe and caring for stuff like my driving license. But I came here with the expectation that God would especially use my talents at the Wongen like he did the last time I came here. Even if I worked a lot through this month, I often felt kind of meaningless, because I didn't have enough time to be fully myself.
So I asked God really often to show me what passions he wanted me to pursue more and if he could show me WHEN I could do it.
One week ago he answered my request :)
The Lighthouse In Action will probably start a new ministry soon that will work together with Love Acts and in which we will offer the bar girls an alternative job by creating jewellery.
When I first heard about that ministry during our weekly debriefing, I felt excited like a little child. So when the responsible woman told Emmi, that she didn't know anybody who knew how to make jewellery, I jumped up and said "I DO!" :D
I kind of overestimated myself, because I honestly don't know a lot about it right now, but I just love creating and I could hold myself back. Her response was surprising for me, because she told me that she actually had my name on her mind when we praying before.
The other thing is similar to this story:
Since I went to DTS people kept asking me if I was a dancer. I love dancing, but I was always to shy to pursue this passion more, even if I really wanted to.
So when people started to ask me this question again, I told God "ok, if anybody tells me that I was looking like a dancer again, I know that you want me to dance!"
I didn't have to wait for a long time. But I still wondered about when I would have enough time to learn it. So one day Emmi just took a seat in front of me and asked "do you like to dance?"
I said "yes, why?" and she she told me, that one girl of the Wongen's staff would start HipHop classes next month and that I would be a part of it! ^^
Donnerstag, 27. September 2012
Dienstag, 18. September 2012
A lot of questions and a lot of answers
Hello guys!
It's been a long time again since my last post and it happened a lot! :)
Around one week ago David's DTS in another part of Chiang Mai has started and he already had a cool experience with God! Sometimes a felt a little bit lonely, because a really close friend had gone away for six month now, but I have huge expectations for God shaping and healing each one of us during this time so much! And in this post I want to tell you about the things God already has been doing in my life:
Every Thursday morning we have a team meeting at Wongen where we discuss what had happened in each of the ministries of the Lighthouse Ministries. Normally I enjoy to listen to the other missionaries stories and testimonies so much, but on this day, I was just struggling with the question, if God really loved me. Before the meeting I had already asked him, to show me his love on this day, but often I am afraid that he just won't give an answer. When we finished updating and stared praying, quite tears where rolling down my face all the time and again I was aware of the wall around my heart that God didn't crumble completely yet.
I don't no if anybody saw me crying, because I had my eyes closed, but suddenly one of the girls of the World Race Team that lives here until the end of the month started describing a picture of me in her head, that showed a light that was entering my feet and filling my whole body, muscles and bones until it reached my face and made it shining like the sun (it's hard for me to describe it in the same words she used).
She said, that I would bring the kingdom of God wherever I would go and that I had to bring no other human with me, because God could work through me alone.
When she started talking about her vision, my heart felt like something warm laid on it and after she finished it just felt light and I experienced probably for the first time in my life, how Gods peace could feel like :)
First I was just so happy about that I was really important enough for God to give somebody a vision for me in a prayer time, that we normally spent by praying for the ministries. But later I remembered, that in I had so many role models in DTS and that - when God did a miracle in a group that I was involved in - he wouldn't have done it only through me, because of my little faith. God is so good and loving :)
Another great thing just happened yesterday:
Since my mother asked me to fast for my brother this week, I wondered a lot, if should really do it because for me there's always the danger that I could do it for the wrong purpose - loosing weight.
So on Monday I decided that I would fast until God would give me the answer of if I should fast and how I should do it. But there was another deep question on my heart this morning, like always. I wandered, what I would have to do to please God. I decided for myself, that I wouldn't run to another christian to get the answer as fast as possible and so I had to wait until one of the World Race Team girls offered me a cookie and had I tell her I couldn't eat it because I was fasting.
When she asked me "really?" I just said "I don't really know" and so I told her about my thoughts. Her reaction was surprising, when she asked me, if I knew about the David Fasting, which contains eating vegetables and fruits. That was God's answer for me, because before I talked to her I already wondered if it would be the best for me, if I could still eat vegetables and fruits. After that the next question popped out of me really quickly "how can I please God?"
She smiled and told me, that this was one of the best things I could asked and that I would get one of the best answers - I could please God in just being his daughter Jascha and that I could do nothing, that would make him loving me more.
So I ended up asking her questions that were burning on my heart for one hour, which I actually wanted to spent praying for my sick brother.
I asked, if God would be as pleased with a non-christian like he is with a christian, if a christian could ever go to hell, if he wouldn't be passionate or obedient enough and what God means by saying that he would spit us out of his mouth if we would be lukewarm.
I also told her, that I sometimes was disappointed by the way Jesus talked to some people and his disciples and that I wouldn't feel loves if somebody would talk to me like this. I wondered if Jesus would talk with everybody the same way and she told me, that he always calls her Baby girl :)
We talked so much that it would be a tonne that I still would have to write, but every answer and every verse she gave me where full of the all powerful love of God and that he would never let somebody steel us out of his hand!
The last thing she asked me was about what my deepest question towards God was and I told her, that I wonder about how much he loves me. I'm not satisfied until he loves me like crazy, so she read psalm 139 to me and told me, that she thinks, that God is even like obsessed with us! :)
That's all, I'm really happy that I finally made it to writing these experiences down and I hope that they will fill you with joy!
God bless you!
It's been a long time again since my last post and it happened a lot! :)
Around one week ago David's DTS in another part of Chiang Mai has started and he already had a cool experience with God! Sometimes a felt a little bit lonely, because a really close friend had gone away for six month now, but I have huge expectations for God shaping and healing each one of us during this time so much! And in this post I want to tell you about the things God already has been doing in my life:
Every Thursday morning we have a team meeting at Wongen where we discuss what had happened in each of the ministries of the Lighthouse Ministries. Normally I enjoy to listen to the other missionaries stories and testimonies so much, but on this day, I was just struggling with the question, if God really loved me. Before the meeting I had already asked him, to show me his love on this day, but often I am afraid that he just won't give an answer. When we finished updating and stared praying, quite tears where rolling down my face all the time and again I was aware of the wall around my heart that God didn't crumble completely yet.
I don't no if anybody saw me crying, because I had my eyes closed, but suddenly one of the girls of the World Race Team that lives here until the end of the month started describing a picture of me in her head, that showed a light that was entering my feet and filling my whole body, muscles and bones until it reached my face and made it shining like the sun (it's hard for me to describe it in the same words she used).
She said, that I would bring the kingdom of God wherever I would go and that I had to bring no other human with me, because God could work through me alone.
When she started talking about her vision, my heart felt like something warm laid on it and after she finished it just felt light and I experienced probably for the first time in my life, how Gods peace could feel like :)
First I was just so happy about that I was really important enough for God to give somebody a vision for me in a prayer time, that we normally spent by praying for the ministries. But later I remembered, that in I had so many role models in DTS and that - when God did a miracle in a group that I was involved in - he wouldn't have done it only through me, because of my little faith. God is so good and loving :)
Another great thing just happened yesterday:
Since my mother asked me to fast for my brother this week, I wondered a lot, if should really do it because for me there's always the danger that I could do it for the wrong purpose - loosing weight.
So on Monday I decided that I would fast until God would give me the answer of if I should fast and how I should do it. But there was another deep question on my heart this morning, like always. I wandered, what I would have to do to please God. I decided for myself, that I wouldn't run to another christian to get the answer as fast as possible and so I had to wait until one of the World Race Team girls offered me a cookie and had I tell her I couldn't eat it because I was fasting.
When she asked me "really?" I just said "I don't really know" and so I told her about my thoughts. Her reaction was surprising, when she asked me, if I knew about the David Fasting, which contains eating vegetables and fruits. That was God's answer for me, because before I talked to her I already wondered if it would be the best for me, if I could still eat vegetables and fruits. After that the next question popped out of me really quickly "how can I please God?"
She smiled and told me, that this was one of the best things I could asked and that I would get one of the best answers - I could please God in just being his daughter Jascha and that I could do nothing, that would make him loving me more.
So I ended up asking her questions that were burning on my heart for one hour, which I actually wanted to spent praying for my sick brother.
I asked, if God would be as pleased with a non-christian like he is with a christian, if a christian could ever go to hell, if he wouldn't be passionate or obedient enough and what God means by saying that he would spit us out of his mouth if we would be lukewarm.
I also told her, that I sometimes was disappointed by the way Jesus talked to some people and his disciples and that I wouldn't feel loves if somebody would talk to me like this. I wondered if Jesus would talk with everybody the same way and she told me, that he always calls her Baby girl :)
We talked so much that it would be a tonne that I still would have to write, but every answer and every verse she gave me where full of the all powerful love of God and that he would never let somebody steel us out of his hand!
The last thing she asked me was about what my deepest question towards God was and I told her, that I wonder about how much he loves me. I'm not satisfied until he loves me like crazy, so she read psalm 139 to me and told me, that she thinks, that God is even like obsessed with us! :)
That's all, I'm really happy that I finally made it to writing these experiences down and I hope that they will fill you with joy!
God bless you!
Montag, 3. September 2012
Time for a testimony
Hello guys, I hope you are all doing well!
I'm sorry that it took me some time since the last post to update my blog. In this post I basically want to tell you about how God already worked in my life, since I am in Thailand and even a few days before!
First I want to let you know, that I got my motorcycle driving licence at the past Monday! I almost couldn't believe how much my fear changed into courage when David and I went to the driving school's practicing area on Monday, only a few hours before my driving test would begin. It was actually my second try because I failed at the first time on Friday, but I got a second chance because of my results of my written test. Even if the responsible person for observing the students wasn't even seriously watching out for how the students were doing, I was just to scared to ride through the test zone. Since that experience I couldn't believe that I would ever make it to my driving licence and I spent a lot of time praying for that God would let happen whatever he wanted to. There was almost no good opportunity for me to practice before I would have my second chance on Monday, but the night before I had a dream of me encouraging another woman. On the next day I experienced a complete change of my feelings towards riding a motorcycle! In the beginning it was still not easy, but only after 45 minutes practicing I was ready to do the test! :)
Thanks God!
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| me at the first minutes on the motorbike, around one hour before the test and after it, with my driving licence :) |
Another story that I want to tell you is a bit longer ago. I want to use this story to encourage you, if you have doubts about if God is really that close to you and if he really hears your prayers. Around 3 weeks ago, two days before my depart from Germany I went to a charismatic church together with my mum and her husband. We wanted to go there for a long time, because my mum and I were both on the way to throw or religiousness away, that always made us afraid from things like speaking in tongues etc...
At this day the church leaders talked about prophecy and that we all could do it. From the beginning on I was nearly crying, because I wished that God would talk to me at this church service so bad, but I couldn't really believe, that he would do so. So after a while I prayed really shortly, that God should give me a sign that he was really listening to my prayers. The sign that immediately came to my mind was the word "Goldmarie". The reason why this word came to my mind is, that I used to compare myself to this girl during my work duties at DTS and that one of my outreach team members had a word from God for me, in which he called me his treasure and Goldmarie.
So when the guys asked the people who of them came to the service and really wanted to receive a word from God, my mother made a hesitantly movement and I grabbed her arm and walked with her infront of the people. Almost every person who received a word for me got something about missions, what was really cool, but the best was, when I should prophecy over a lady and when she ended up comparing me with the Goldmarie, after she started to prophecy first because I had struggles with receiving a word for her :)
God is really there and he knows and loves us! I still have a lot of struggles with believing that, but I feel like God will heal my betrayed heart so that I will dare to believe in him and his love very soon!
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| Goldmarie |
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